The date was November 7th… the time had finally come for the Poole’s women’s tournament! We had a stellar line-up for the weekend – Captain Jacqui , Marie, Janey, China, Tracy, Fran (All the way from Italy!), and myself (Heather). We also had Jon, Sean, and Ant joining as the team cheerleaders/coaches.

We met at Victoria Coach Station for an 8am bus ride, determined to have a face-smashing good time (too soon, China?). We were well prepared for the weekend to win the Frisbee tournament and a baking competition – we had Tracy’s world’s best brownies, Janey’s estimated Lemon Drizzle Cake, and China’s (amazing? Not sure, I didn’t manage to get a piece…) Pecan Pie. After several incriminating sleeping photos and about 3 hours of bonding time we arrived in Bournemouth. On our way from the bus station to the hotel, Jon entertained the cabbie by hearing about how “downward dog” was the work of the devil and how no one should do yoga, and Jacqui managed to save her cabbie’s life by saying the fare was £11… It was a very interesting cab ride – guess you had to be there.

risky coach action

After arriving we did what everyone does to prepare the day before a big tournament– we went BOWLING! The planned skills session run by Poole ultimate got cancelled, so instead we learned that Janey is a semi-professional bowler, Fran should stick to playing ultimate, and Ant has a very delicate throw (watch his left hand the next time you go bowling with him). Afterwards Jacqui and Fran competed on the slopes and Ant destroyed Jon in a game hoops, and then we decided it was time for some dodgy food. We found ourselves a cheeky Mexican place and ate ourselves into a burrito/nacho/haloumi food coma.

bowling gif


After literal (and figurative?) trips to Tesco, we all went down to the pool to enjoy a nice swim, the Jacuzzi, and steam room. In the steam room/pool we had a moment of team bonding where we went around and each expressed a hope and a fear for the following day. After a dip, there might or might not have been some more trips to Tesco, then we reconvened to learn so many things about each other… There was a lot going on in China and Janey’s room including several different games but in the end the major themes were… “SUCK JON’S TOE!,” deep throating beer bottles, Fran’s pants coming off, Jacqui’s safety pants coming off, and more sucking of Jon’s toes… Right, around 00:30 we decided it was time to get some rest to be prepared for our 9am game in the morning.

jon fisting janey

On Sunday, after Jacqui woke us each up with OJ and chocolate chip brioche (she is seriously the best…) we got to the courts a little before our 9:05 game and warmed up a bit.

warm up gif

Our first match was against the skunks, and man did it stink – for them! Brixton came out strong with a 5-0 victory! China’s pass to Janey is what started it all off – they were shocked more than anyone else. Our defence must have been really good, and clearly our offense was working. (Can’t you tell how good I am with Frisbee terminology?! Whose idea was it for me to write up this report???)

game 1 6 started it allgame 1 defencegame 1game 1 2game 1 3game 1 4 frangame 1 5

Anyway, we had loads of time before our second game to eat, recharge, and think about what worked well in the first game. Unfortunately, that didn’t help us win the game. We ended with a hard fought 0-9 loss to Hampshire. However, we felt that we learned a lot from this game. We saw that Hampshire had throws that were on point, and a defence that was relentless. We each set a goal for ourselves to work on for the next game to turn this loss into something positive.

The next game was against Ghana (who I think was actually Bournemouth?). They took a 2-0 lead, which, I have to admit, was a bit embarrassing because they looked like they were 12 years old. Capitan Jacqui and our cheerleaders helped us get refocused and somehow (only God knows how) – I caught my first point, touchdown, goal – whatever it is called! Either way, I blacked out with all of the excitement – never thinking this would happen. We went on to score a few more points and ended winning the game 4-2.

ghana game 2 4 heather grab ghana game 2 ghana game 2 5 jq ghana game 2 3 marie on floor ghana game

At this point we have now moved up from 9th seed to 8th seed (woo hoo!). Our next game was against number 1 seed, Brighton. Obviously the goal in our mind was to be the big upset, be the underdog story that everyone loves to hear – take the number 1 seed away! So we went out there with our heads up, a reminder of our goal from the Hampshire game, and our lovely cheerleaders on the sidelines for encouragement and guidance. Unfortunately, the odds were not in our favour… Brighton beat us 0-13. Similar to the Hampshire game, but with more precision – Brighton had throws that were on point, and their response to our turnovers is where they really took advantage. It was a hard game against a really good team, but we learned a lot about different things we can work on to make ourselves a much better team in the future.

brighton 2 brighton

So, our record is W-L-W-L…game number five against Kent is going to be a W?!?! That was my guess too… but unfortunately it didn’t work out that way. Kent beat us with a score of 1-6. Sad, I know. But you should have seen the crazy defence they threw on us that Janey was just like “oh, were you trying to defend me? Let me just throw this over your head to Marie for a casual point”. It was sick!

kent gif

Alright, 6th game of the day and it is against the Skunks (different stinkers this time) to try to take the 7th seed… Although we are five games down, and it has been a long day, we approach this game with loads of energy! In this game we brought out the ISO play, which annoyed them. Again our defence was still holding together pretty well, but at the end of the day, after a really hard fought battle on both sides, Brixton walked away with a 4-6 loss. Although we lost, this game could have gone either way. We enjoyed a game of stories afterwards with the skunks team (it’s girl chat though, so you don’t get to know who or what the stories were about – sorry boys!).

game 1 7 high kick

So, in the end, we came away 8th in the competition – not too shabby! J But not only that, I think each one of us came back as a much better player, and we definitely came back as a much stronger women’s team. We bonded on and off the pitch and I think we made Brixton proud!

We also really want to thank Sean, Ant, and Jon for all of their help over the weekend – your words of encouragement, your advice, and your silliness made our weekend that much more memorable! THANKS GUYS!!!


Lastly, the awards go to (drum roll, please):

MIP (Most Impressive…): Me!!! (Thanks for the compliments on my….)

MVP: Captain Harrison!!! [Jacqui – It’s obvious you were a huge help on the pitch, but I think we all want to thank you for everything you did for coordinating this weekend – you are the best!]

Oh, and last but not least… Guessing game! Try to guess who said the quotes below and what context they were in – enjoy :-)

  1. “I was on my knees and I said ‘fuck meeeee’”
  2. “Jon, are your balls vibrating too?”
  3. “Do you really need the Vaseline?” “Nah, I’m not that desparate”
  4. “I like it when he uses his hands on my head.”
  5. “Does anyone want my corn? I can’t fit it in my mouth.”
  6. “This face is a blessing and a curse.”
  7. “Jon, you’re really hurting my mouth.”
  8. “Come here and I’ll lick it for you”
  9. “It’s either shit in the bed or sleep in the toilet.”
  10. “It’s like de-inflated.” “There’s a word for that.” “What is it?” “Deflated.”


  1. Tracy while playing Ninja’s
  2. Janey asking Jon about the bubbles in the Jacuzzi
  3. Marie/China regarding her face.
  4. Tracy regarding head massages
  5. China regarding her face.
  6. Jon and generally how hard his life is.
  7. China regarding her split face.
  8. Not sure who, but it was overheard in the bathroom…
  9. Jon and general life problems (?)
  10. Marie and China – something was apparently deflated